Sex & Love

Kegels, Tightening & The Idea of Being “Loose”

There has been much debate lately over the idea surrounding Kegels, Kegel weights, those balls in ’50 Shades of Grey,’ and what they actually do. I’m here to set the record straight.

The small metal balls that were used in the popular novel, “50 Shades of Grey,” do sound fun and exciting but do not actually serve the same purpose. Why? Because being spanked with heavy, metal beads inside of you does not feel good. You are not a pinball machine, and those beads are going to slam against your cervix, gspot, and public bone and it’s not going to feel good.

Kegel balls are normally attached to each other by some sort of girdle and are designed to help strengthen the PC MUSCLES. Think of the pc muscles like a hammock holding together all the pelvic organs by forming a floor (pelvic floor) that stretches from the public bone to the tail bone.

This is how the beads work:

You put each one in, with lube, and you walk around all day…do your laundry, go to spinning class, whatever you want to do…and the bead on the inside of the balls is going to knock around. Each time the weighted bead hits against the inside of the ball, the vaginal walls are going to naturally contract. And look at that, you’re doing your kegels and your dry cleaning at the same time!

This is also the same muscle set that can stop the stream of pee as your are using the bathroom. Go ahead! Try it that way!

Kegels help with more orgasm control, creating awareness of sensation in that area, having more control over bladder and sphincter muscles, helping to prevent and control uterine prolapse, and strengthening the pelvic floor during and after giving birth,

Tightening is not real thing. Let me say that again…Tightening is not a real thing. I bring this up as I believe there is a major confusion about the vagina, the vaginal walls, and it’s length and size. As you stand up, go on…standup…the vaginal walls are already touching each other. It’s a small space, there isn’t a lot of room for it to go. Christine O’Connor, MD, director of adolescent gynecology and well women care at Mercy Medical Center in Baltimore did a feature with WebMD where she explained:

“The vagina is a very ‘elastic’ organ…It is small enough to hold a tampon in place, but can expand enough to pass a child through. This is because the walls of the vagina are similar to those of the stomach, they have rugae, meaning they fold together to collapse when unused, then expand when necessary.”

But still, even with all the medical facts, there are still negative remarks surrounding this idea that the vagina can be loose and so are the women that own them.

According to Urban Dictionary, the phrase “Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway” is described as “An analogy for an exceedingly loose girl, most likely used and abused by many men, in various manners, creating a frictionless tube of whoreness. This term is considered to be significantly worse than a four-finger girl.
Ryan, “Screwing a Moffat is like throwing your hotdog down a hallway.” Matt, “No kidding I was using both fists until my class ring came off and got lost.””

Phrases like that were told so that women can feel bad about their bodies. They have zero factual or medical information to support them. They are crude, unrealistic, and is the reason why women are putting ‘shrinking’ creams inside of them.

Products such as 18 Again, The Magic Stick Vaginal Tightener, and China Shrink Cream are designed to shrink the vaginal walls so that the man can have a more pleasurable time. There are even products that will slap the word ‘organic’ on the cover and sell you on how safe it is (On screen: Intimate Organics Embrace Tightening Pleasure Gel) In fact, all you are doing is dehydrating that area and making the vagina more prone to infections, tears along the vaginal wall, and discomfort. Doesn’t that sound ridiculous? There are products out there specifically designed so that you as the female are harming yourself so that your male partner feels more

While doing my research, I came across plenty of sites that claim that vaginal shrinking creams help women to feel more while having penetrative sex and are more likely to have orgasms that way. That’s odd. Because, the longest the vagina gets is 5 inches…depending on arousal, and it accommodates the width of whatever is being put in it (with lube of course). So, no matter what the vaginal walls will feel what you put in it.

The most frequent vaginal measuring system comes from the 60s when the The Masters and Johnson research team examined 100 women that had never been pregnant and found that unstimulated, range from 2.75 inches to about 3 and a quarter inches. When aroused, it increased to 4.25 inches to 4.75 inches. BUT they also found that regardless of how long the vagina is, the most important part of a female’s sexual response was the outer one-third….THE CLIT!

Also, 75% of all women can’t of orgasms without clitoral stimulation. According to Michael Castleman in his Psychology Today article in 2009, “Only one-quarter of women reliably experience orgasm during intercourse-no matter how long it lasts, no matter what size the man’s penis, and no matter how the woman feels about the man or the relationship.” So no matter how tight you make your vagina, the majority of the female population won’t have that orgasm without clitoral stimulation.

We live in a world where women — not all but some — already have trouble orgasming, feeling a sense of autonomy over their genitals, or even being okay with touching “down there.” So why are we trying so hard to make men feel good at the expense of our body parts?

Look, I’m not trying to say forgo your partner’s needs. Of course! Go out! Have fun sex! But don’t compromise your vagina for the sake of his penis. Plus, it probably feels amazing just the way it is! You want to know why….

The head of the penis (the glans) is the most sensitive part of the penis. It is the expansion of the corpus spongiosum, which is surrounded by the corpus cavernous (erectile tissue). When swollen, it holds 90% of the blood involved in an erection…making it more sensitive.

Now place this swollen, sensitive body part into a warm area that will expand to the size of the body part and fold around it…..then tell me it doesn’t feel good.

This drive to go out an make ourselves tighter so that our men can feel more when they have sex with us is incredibly damaging to our self-worth. Body shaming is not okay, no matter who it is. It is not okay to make comments about body parts that don’t belong to you.

Image: Someecards

2 thoughts on “Kegels, Tightening & The Idea of Being “Loose”

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