It’s the end of the day and you’re asked to do a show (or a presentation) in the next few days. You weren’t planning on this, so of course you haven’t prepared. And you’re not going to say no because this is a big opportunity to prove to your community (and yourself) that you’ve got what it takes.
But if you’re like me and enjoy a grand self-help listicle, here are some great prep tips for your upcoming strip tease/work meeting.
1. Don’t panic. Panicking will do you zero good. Best way to look at this situation is with confidence. Look yourself in the mirror and say, “I will be naked on a stage in 4 days. Awesome.”
2. Write out your act. That way you have a reference for what you are doing. “Left hand to ass, turn, walk, walk” is a totally acceptable blueprint.
3. Simple is better. This is not the time to craft a makeshift gown that opens at the hip. Go through the rolodex of clothes in your closet and find the best possible, easy strip, outfit.
4. Peeing is the perfect time to practice your sexy face. You’re in the bathroom at work. Practice your face. No one can see you in that stall, so make use of it and give your piss performance the best showgirl you can.
5. Do what you know. Why would you do a song by KISS if you have never heard that guitar solo? Taylor Swift is the most listened to artist on your iPod. Decision made.
6. Listen to your song 100,000,000 times. Oh you want to listen to that great Nerdist podcast with Katey Sagal? Too bad. She will be there in 4 days.
7. Go to a burlesque show. Nothing will pump you up more than seeing other people doing what you’re about to do.
8. Wear sexy panties everyday until your show. Build up that persona for awhile, and eventually you’ll believe it.
9. Don’t try to memorize your act. Have a blueprint, but see where the moves take you. Most of the time you will not do what you rehearse.
10. You’re going to be fucking amazing. Tell yourself that. Right now.
Laura Delarato is a web producer, writer, social media consultant, and video creator in NYC. She has spent a lot of the past 10-years of her life in internships, college, part-time jobs, graduate school, and in front of a computer typing away her next brilliant idea. Her work has appeared in Playgirl Magazine, Kong Magazine, London Glossy Magazine…and at one time CosmoGirl! Magazine. Laura spends a lot of her time typing code for the web department of Details Magazine, performing improv at The Magnet Theater, and taking any burlesque class she can find. She was nominated for Best Series at The New School’s media department awards for her show: Fat Girl, A Web Series, which was also featured on the site LESGO-NYC as a new show to watch out for. When she is not fixing the internet, Laura likes to be a total badass by participating in body-positive/fat-acceptance activism, crafting pasties, discussing the beauty of pornography, and wearing all the short skirts. @lauradelarato