This weekend, I was shown some serious girl-hate because of some pants I was wearing. There nothing crazy, they’re just harem pants…albeit a little appropriated from Indian culture, and MC Hammer. But they make my hips look wider than normal, which I’m really alright with. I forget that I live in my own world where the people I know would never be judgmental over a piece of clothing making a body part look a little bigger. It would never be considered. But here I am, not in my world, and this chick loudly says that some girls shouldn’t wear pants that accentuate larger bodies.
First, if that’s the best you’ve got…you should really hang up your insult gloves and step out of the ring because there are 10-year-old girls that can chew you up and spit you out faster than a Miley Cyrus tongue-lashing. Second, how many waves of feminism have we gone through? Women have still not learned to be nice to each other—has Mean Girls taught you nothing? Third, fuck you. I looked amazing.
Hey now, girl. I get that you’ve been raise to think that there are certain norms out there that we should all follow. But if you stopped to think about what you’re doing to yourself, your friends, and to anyone in ear shot of your comment , you would get that you’re not really hurting me. You’re just being a shitty person…and dare I say, I shitty chick. Because if you for one second believe that your opinion on female beauty is some original thought in your head that you had to say because you’re the voice on bigger bodies and harem pants (or any rubric thereof regarding policing ‘what doesn’t look good’ on women), then we as a womanhood are doomed.
There is an underlining notion that women owe the world their beauty. That we are ornaments for the rest of the world; which is why when you’re sad someone will eventually tell you to smile. And when you’re not wearing makeup, someone will tell you that you look tired. I believe this all comes down to what we are fed by the media concerning how women should look. The problem is the media doesn’t represent real women, with real jobs, and real lives.
Let’s break this down:
You’re a woman, and you believe what you’re being told by the media as the outright truth about your sex…and then you criticize another woman for her appearance because it doesn’t fit the media’s standard of beauty…and you still expect women, including you, to advance past stereotypical cat fights and girl drama? It won’t happen. Until women stop hating each other, and putting each other down, we’ll never be free any and all beliefs that we are the fairer sex, and we are stupid, and all a woman needs is a dick and some chores to shut her up.
In my short life, I have experienced countless terrible moments with men—but nothing like what I’ve experienced with women. And yeah, it sucks to constantly have to think about my skirt being too short while walking by a bunch of men…but it sucks even more to think that if something terrible happened during that walk, there will always be women out there that will call me a slut or say I was asking for it when they should come to my defense.
And I’m not saying that because I’m a woman, I can do whatever I want and all women should support me. I’m saying, that we live in this patriarchy together. We have similar experiences (of course not the same because of other gender, race, and class considerations). Don’t regurgitate misinformed notions of beauty. Women are already under the microscope as it is. Let’s not turn this life into a fucking high school.
Image: Wikimedia Commons
Laura Delarato is a web producer, writer, social media consultant, video creator, and the brain behind Pass The Cake, Please fashion blog. She has spent a lot of the past 10-years of her life in internships, college, part-time jobs, graduate school, and in front of a computer typing away her next brilliant idea. Her work has appeared in Playgirl Magazine, Kong Magazine, London Glossy Magazine—and at one time CosmoGirl! Magazine. Laura spends a lot of her time typing code to make the internet work, performing improv at The Magnet Theater in NYC, and performing burlesque on every dingy bar stage she can find. Laura likes to be a total badass by participating in body-positive/fat-acceptance activism, crafting pasties, discussing the beauty of pornography, and wearing all the short skirts. Follow her at @lauradelarato