Happy / Staff Picks

Sweet 16 Reminders That It’s Okay To Say Fuck This Shit

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAFuck it. Just fuck it. Fuck this shit. -All of us

Breathe. Breathe.

I wasn’t just the madwoman in the attic—I was the attic itself. The past was all over me, all under me, all inside me.

Prozac Nation, Elizabeth Wurtzel

1) It is OKAY to lie in bed, bunch the covers up over your head, and make a nest to cry, hide, or sleep. Better to burrow than bury. Then like any animal, come out to stretch and say hello to the sun. Drink a little water. Eat some food, silly.

I am infinitely strange to myself.

The French Lieutenant’s Woman, John Fowles

2) Taking time for yourself is important. Self-care is important. Doing small things for yourself is important.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

An Ideal Husband, Oscar Wilde

3) Take a walk. Make space for yourself. All that Awesome needs room to breathe.

“You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been in every line I have ever read, since I first came here, the rough common boy whose poor heart you wounded even then. You have been in every prospect I have ever seen since – on the river, on the sails of the ships, on the marshes, in the clouds, in the light, in the darkness, in the wind, in the woods, in the sea, in the streets. You have been the embodiment of every graceful fancy that my mind has ever become acquainted with. The stones of which the strongest London buildings are made, are not more real, or more impossible to displace with your hands, than your presence and influence have been to me, there and everywhere, and will be. Estella, to the last hour of my life, you cannot choose but remain part of my character, part of the little good in me, part of the evil.”

Great Expectations, Charles Dickens

4) You are NOT worthless. Your fragmented body, heart, and soul are facets of a crystal that reflect a fucking gorgeous light. Deal with how shiny you are by shining. (Let’s try a visual:)

quote_threepaththinking-tiffany-chaney

5) You are NOT too much for someone. Your fears and someone’s fears are bumping uglies, and it’s time to stop engaging in the fear fuck. Why do you want someone to receive that image—that you are “too much?”

“Play from your fucking heart!”

– Bill Hicks

6) Sensuality and being sensitive are strongly connected; they are whimsical states of being. Every time the heart is touched and every time we touch we are taking a risk. You can be aware of where you are, and live and love passionately with your heart fully open.

“Enemies are so stimulating!”

– Katherine Hepburn

7) No one has the right to treat you like shit. You do not have the right to treat yourself like shit.

“When you’re struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them, it’s just as hard as what you’re going through.”

Dear John, Nicholas Sparks

8) Anger is not necessarily negative. It’s a cleanser. It shows us where the ouchies are and why we don’t need or want something. Let it show you where you hurt and how. Then give it love. If you feel someone has contributed to your anger, sit with it. Do not direct it outward at that person; you’re only spreading wildfire. Do not gift or invite hate. That said: Yes, it is OKAY to voice when something is not okay to you.

“How do people, like, not curse? How is it possible? There are these gaps in speech where you just have to put a FUCK.”

A Log Way Down, Nick Hornby

9) Sometimes we’re so busy seeking what we need, when what we need is inches from our eyes. We can’t see it though. Stop. Breathe. When you ask yourself too many questions, when you are outside busting your ass to do what you need to do, you’re not available to even listen to yourself.

ky_olsen-listen-to-your-heart
10) Surrender. You are not giving up. It’s easier to go through something than to try to climb over it.

“Fall seven times, Stand up eight.”

– Japanese Proverb

11) Why bother? Seriously. If it isn’t helping you, and the same pattern is only hurting you again and again… It’s OKAY to say NO. It is okay to say GOODBYE.

“I wanted to say goodbye to someone, and have someone say goodbye to me. The goodbyes we speak and the goodbyes we hear are the goodbyes that tell us we’re still alive.”

Wolves of the Call, Stephen King

12) Stop going the “extra mile” to receive in return. Let your heart be inspired to give and if it balks at something, disengage. It does not mean you are not a caring person. It just means you don’t take shit; you give a shit because you love.

“Beware; for I am fearless, and therefore powerful.”

Frankenstein, Mary Shelley

13) People are going to be assholes. No matter what perspective you try to think of, no matter how you try to “work it out.” People are going to be assholes and will come to their awareness in their own time. That is their responsibility. They are learning something, too. It’ll hit them later.

“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.”

Song of Solomon, Toni Morrison

14) Shit happens. It is shitty. Fuck that shit. Fuck it with a smile and eyes and ears open for your inspiration to move forward.

“If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.”

– Audrey Hepburn

15) Play. Engage your inner child. Dance in your living room naked. Swing on the swing set at midnight. Pick a flower for yourself. Do something you haven’t done in forever. Adults need play time, too. Discover the whim in whimsy.

16) Now smile and say “Fuck this.” (Prince Bertie from The King’s Speech had a real go at it.)

Images: (1) Daniel Lobo (2) Three Path Thinking (3) ky_olsen

Some content of this post originally appears, in part, at the author’s blog here.

Tiffany Chaney is a poet, a witchy woman that still swings on the swing set and wishes on stars. She suggests you try it sometime. She writes articles and a Weekly Tarot column on Sundays for Luna Luna Mag. Snag your reading here. Her poetry collection Between Blue and Grey won the 2013 Mother Vine Award for Best in Poetry. Discover more about her writing at tiffanychaneycom. Now, crank up the volume to the tune playing in your head and dance to a Mad Girl’s Love Song.

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